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Welcome to my world: A world in which I am still finding my way and my voice; where the language is laced with dry humor; where stilettos and football games go together like peas and carrots; where happy hour starts long before 5; where I make mistakes, get angry and laugh my ass off; where I will never love anything as much as I love my cat; where no one knows your name and you like it that way; where comments are welcome and where strong women who fight for what they believe in are always adored.
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My StumbleUpon PageFriday, December 21, 2007
Vive La France!
And so it begins. Date #3 post Russian (trust me - #2 is NOT worth the mention)
Ironically, I enrolled in a French class last month. The impetus for reliving my high school language experience, you ask? A pending trip to
Well, if nothing else, the class has proven a useful diversion over the past few weeks, deflecting thoughts of the impending holiday and the fact I will be spending Christmas and by extension, New Years, alone for roughly the 8th year in a row (yes, do the math boys and girls – Scarlett has not had a NYE date THIS MILLENIUM). Incroyable, je
The twist: one of the class tutors is rather cute (in a 33 but could still pass for 21, boy next door way) and has asked moi to a wine tasting this evening. Before you gasp in horror with visions of a European in too short pants, wafting questionable body odor with a political superiority complex yet a dire need to be rescued at the first sight of Lederhosen, let me assure you that this man is 100% American. A Midwestern boy, as a matter of fact, with a passion for Big 10 football who happens to have lived in a variety of French-speaking countries (hence the linguistic dexterity).
So another welcomed distraction – even if my thoughts will inevitably return to a certain slovak as soon as its over.
Franchement,
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Do Any DC Boys Make the Grade?
As it appears I am not opposed to taking my newfound freedom out for a spin, while awaiting the Russian’s return from emotional
"Asshat, asshole, dickhead, alcoholic, workaholic, sexaholic (unless...), commitment phobic, person with girlfriend or wife, misogynist, megalomaniac, chauvinist, emotional fuckwit, freeloader or pervert."
_______________________________________________________
1. What makes you think you're good enough for our Scarlett?
2. Have you ever been engaged/married?
3. (If you answered “yes” to #2.) Do you feel that a significant amount of time has passed and that you have completed the requisite amount of alone time/therapy/yoga/meditation/sowing oats of the wild variety – to allow you fairly enter into a long-term, healthy and meaningful relationship?
4. Can you last longer than five minutes in the sack? Without sexual enhancements or aides.
5. Do you know what "ED" stands for?
6. What is your definition of a thoughtful gesture?
(letting her have the last sip of your beer should not qualify - neither does turning to face away from her during flatulence)
7. How big are your feet?
8. What is your idea of spontaneous?
9. Do you frequently have fears of commitment and experience bouts of inexplicable needs of SPACE, an angst which moving furniture or standing alone at the
10. (If you answered “yes” to #9.) Please discuss, in detail, how these feelings will in no way derail your relationship or make your girlfriend cry.
11. Are diamonds a girl's best friend, or is chocolate? Please compare/contrast, and state why you feel that both of these elements should be prominent in any decent relationship.
12. You significant other's mother is in town for one night only and it would be your first time to meet her. Coincidentally, your favorite sports team has a game televised and you have been looking forward to it for days. You can only choose one. What do you choose, and why?
13. Your girlfriend makes a comment on how unflattering another girl at the bar looks. Do you:
a) reply with "what girl?"
b) Agree and mention two reasons why your girlfriend's attire is way better
c) Chug what's left of your beer and say "What, babe? You need another?"
14. Your mother has a key to your house and frequently lets herself in, knowing full-well you have adult company. Do you:
a) get up because your mother wants to make you breakfast
b) tell your mother it's inappropriate and you will talk to her later
c) immediately ask for the key back
15. You're grocery shopping together and girlfriend stops in the salad dressing section and says, "My thighs are getting bigger - do you think I should get the 'light' dressing?" Do you:
a) Run for the exit.
b) Look her up and down and hesitate?
c) Before she finishes her sentence cut her off and tell her how beautiful she is?
16. A woman's mothers looks are a good determination of what she will look like when she's older. True or False?
17. Your girlfriend is fighting with her mother and starts cutting her up (uttering all sorts of true but disrespectful slurs). Do you chime in and join her, or defend her mother? What is the best course of action?
18. Is a painting of dancing teddy bears in masculine colors a good choice of artwork for your house? Why, or why not?
19. Your mother brings you childhood ornaments you decorated as a child. She has kept them all these years and lovingly puts them on her tree. She's now willing to part with them. Do you:
a) put them on your tree, proud to display them, as hideous as your red/green distorted clay handprint looks
b) tell your mother you would probably damage them; it's best tradition is kept and she keeps them on her tree
c) keep them in boxes; you're a big boy now
20. Do you consider neon beer signs as proper house decor?
21. How do you choose a good wine? Based on price, label, or colour?
22. Your lady calls you from the other room - there's a mouse in the kitchen! How do you react?
23. Scarlett has decided to paint her apartment. Do you:
a) Tell her you'll be busy washing your hair that day?
b) Offer to help out?
c) Take the brush from her hand, and send her off to get her nails painted?
d) Hire a painter (cute man sans shirt with muscles and hairless upper body`), buy a blender and mix up a pitcher of margaritas and set up a lounge chair in the apartment - while you go off golfing for the day?
24. Fill in the blank: Hitting on a girl's sister is ________.
25. If you found the “perfect girlfriend” would you:
a) Take a ‘break’ so that you could fulfill your ever present need to still see what else is out there
b) Cheat on her in order to make sure she’s ‘the one’
c) Realize how very lucky you are and do everything you possibly can to keep her happy and in your life?
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Silent Shades of Lazy Greys
By way of an update for you: The Russian has chosen to ignore the communication sanctions put in place two weeks ago. He txted me last Friday night to say….I’m not sure what he had to say actually. Something along the lines of ….he had read my blog (I think he was mildly irritated at the new date entry, though he may claim otherwise*), and that I shouldn’t feel obligated to call him but that he hopes I’m doing well and he still doesn’t know what he wants.
Clear as the face of a 13 year old with chronic acne, right?
So we are communicating, albeit sporadically, again.
And I honestly can’t tell you how I feel about it or him or anything really at the moment.** But there's actually been far too much going on to dwell on this particular situation all THAT much. (Attention to one's own head injuries tend to come first apparently).
So here we are, …not sure where HERE is, or where I’m supposed to go now, but hopefully if I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and don’t get mugged along the way…I’ll get there eventually.
Ever so frankly,
** Well, that’s not entirely true, and those non-soviets wishing to read the gory details, should email me if you’d like.