A Wednesday  morning chuckle for you. Puh-lease do yourself a favor and read this post, by one of my favorite and most fabulous bloggers: The NYC Ponderings Chick.

The post is entitled: Freshman Year, Steak and the Model the Ruined My Life.

I promise you, I was one belly laugh away from Diet Coke w/ Lime come out of my nose (charming, I know).

Enjoy!

I hate to say it. Ok – I LOVE to say it…. I was right.

So far twenty-seven (Take II) has a “commanding” lead over its predecessor.

The long and short of the b-day shin-dig (and thanks to my friends who celebrated with me!). My rolling birthday party where people came in and out all evening was so relaxed with friends that I’ve known since birth, friends who might as well be family, and friends who just light up any room.

And after copious amounts of celebratory drinks, dancing and flirting (as is the birthday girl’s privilege) – some of my fabulous friends were feeling a little TOO fabulous to drive. Soooo – we checked into the Washington landmark – the Hinckley Hilton. Which is just like a bar…people bring you drinks and food..but its better because there is a designated “passing out” area!

It was wonderful and thank you again to all who came.

The weekend ‘o celebration continued with an evening under the stars at one of my favorite DC venues, Wolf Trap, an experience which I’ll elaborate more upon later.

 And then mimosas and movies on Sunday as a way to escape for the afternoon heat.: Get Smart and The Happening – both of which I would recommend seeing. I’m still waiting with bated breath for the next Batman Movie and Heath Ledger’s final and rumored to be his best performance. Something to look forward to in July…then James Bond in November – this year keeps getting better and better!

 Cheers,

All I have to say today is that if a man can cheat on Christie-fucking-Brinkley, is there any hope of fidelity for the mere mortals?

All morning, chattering on endlessly on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC – relationship and sex “experts” called upon to analyze and explain to the rest of us, who may mistakenly “blame” the man for cheating, that its biological and not really the man’s fault. This is important information as the tendency to point manicured, judgmental fingers and assign fault to the philandering husband is certainly basic and strong.

[Side note: How does one actually BECOME a sex or relationship “expert”? I don’t remember Relationships101 on the course roster at any academic institution I have ever frequented. Sex 101 could be found on any given Saturday night at the Sigma Chi house, but that’s about it. Personally, I think anyone who has lived and dated in the nation’s capitol for a year or more has earned at least an Associates if not an honorary BA in sex if not  relationships. It is my contention that to avoid the socially stigmatic label of “whore”, these women have just slapped the term “expert” on a business card in a swirly, pink embossed font and Voila! She’s ready to wax philosophical on all things romantic.].

As I was saying, these so called “experts” have offered some fabulous, non-judgey insights into the male psyche. More specifically, into the phenomena that the concept of monogamy acts as Teflon for men (i.e. never sticking).

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Q: Why do older men feel they can’t keep it in their pants when the opportunity to sleep with teenagers presents itself?

“Expert”: This behavior satisfies their biological need to feel young.

Scarlett: Because they don’t care about anyone but themselves. They don’t care about any marriage vows or commitments they made to their wives and the certainly don’t give a damn about using young women for sex. If he needs to feel younger, get some Botox and be done with it!!

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Q: Why do teenagers or “younger” women want older men?

 “Expert”: The teenagers are looking to find the love and affection they never received from their fathers.

Scarlett: Because they are in the throws of an eating disorder, have low self esteem, or are still bitter because they didn’t make head cheerleader last year. Add to that epidemic to stupidity and there’s your answer.

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Q: Why do men cheat?

“Expert”: Affairs offer these men a means of escaping from the everyday stress of marriage, commitment, children, etc.

Scarlett: Well boo fucking hoo and cry me a river the size of an Iowa flood. It’s called being a adult. If you need an “escape” from life, go to Vegas, watch some strippers, relax. Don’t sleep with you nineteen year old receptionist!

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Is it not possible to call someone a scumbag anymore on national television? Is it taboo to say simply – “bottom line: you’re a miserable human being”?  Where are the Simon Cowell’s of the relationship “expert” community who have the balls to stand up and say the romantic equivalent of “You suck. You’re not going to Hollywood. Don’t let the doorknob smack you in the ass on your way out of the audition room!”

Sigh. Hang in there, Christie. Listen to some Carrie Underwood and feel better!

Frankly,